Life Mentor and Feng Shui expert, Aur, gives her advice on how to pick the right guy, sharing how she picked her husband and what she has to say about our criteria to pick the right guy for ourselves.

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How I Picked the Right Guy

My husband and I got married within a month of knowing each other. That was almost 25 years ago, and we’re still together. But I didn’t pick him because of his looks (he’s pretty plain). I certainly didn’t marry him because of his charm. He took me to McDonald’s on our first date, and then only ordered food for himself. Certainly not prince charming.

I picked my husband, for three reasons. Firstly, he’s smart. He’s a computer expert with specialist skills less than 8 other people in the country have. Secondly, he’s able to make good money and provide for my family and me. Lastly, he has the mindset of wanting to continuously develop himself.

Be Honest With Yourself

Some people think that it is wrong to admit wanting to marry someone because of their skills or ability to make money. Even though, it’s what many people really want. It’s ridiculous

I made it a lifelong commitment to be myself and be honest with myself.  If I feel a certain way or think a certain way, I accept it, good or bad. Nobody should deny who they are. Man-made social rules or norms are made up. They don’t have to dictate how you act. Believe me,  by letting go of trying to maintain a social “image” to instead be yourself, gives you immense freedom. You’re able to do whatever you know is right or good, without needing outside approval. Or fearing their judgment.

If you want to pick the right guy for you, you must be honest with yourself. What you want in your life? What’s really important and valuable to you? What do you have to offer in return?

What’s His Unique Value?

Most couples start off the same way. They meet each other, feel naturally attracted, and then start a relationship. But it’s Maya, only a dream. Initial attraction fades, people aren’t who they originally seem to be and some people, although gorgeous, are dickheads.

When you start a relationship, you need to know the value of that person in your life. Ask yourself, what does this person have that, even when they’re old, fat, and losing hair, will still be valuable to have in my life. If you start a relationship from this point of view, you’re able to develop a deep, lifelong bond based on trust and real love.

Everyone has value and something that makes them unique. You do too. Acknowledge it. It’s beautiful when both sides of a couple know their own value and the unique value their partner has to offer. When they do, both sides show appreciation and make their partner feel valued.

It’s actually even in everyone’s best interest to create a relationship like this. Think about it. When someone makes you feel valued and irreplaceable in their lives, would you ever want to hurt them or lose them? No. Relationships built on honest reciprocal value and appreciation are priceless and last.

Why did you pick your partner? Did you pick the right guy? Leave it in the comments.